Turning FOMO into JOMO

Turning FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) into JOMO (Joy of Missing Out)

Have you ever found yourself thinking about staying away from social media for a couple of days, months – or even considered deleting all your accounts? It’s that time when the mental overload hits a bell and asks for a time-out.

These days, when a “revolution” in society occurs, many of us join from the comfort of our couch. We share excerpts from great philosophers, poets, entrepreneurs, or psychologists, claiming to be actively protesting against issues that trouble humanity. But does it really make us rebels, outliers, or influencers if we express our beliefs merely through social media posts? Aren’t we trapped in the daily habit of continuously browsing our feeds throughout the whole day? Even small kids are now reported to reproduce the characteristic movement of scrolling down entirely naturally.

And that’s how we fool ourselves that we actively live every day. We are waiting for the comments and likes as trophies for our social revolution that starts from Facebook and ends with our next Insta story. Human solidarity and real communication are questioned more than ever before as most people connect to the rest of the world from the couch, hiding behind their phone screens. It doesn’t mean that social networks should be blamed: their real purpose is to be used by us. The fact that we are allowing social media to use us is our own choice.

Self-isolation and anxiety

Global research shows that self-isolation, anxiety disorders, and depression have increased rapidly due to the overuse of social networks. There are people who only “live” through social platforms for several hours daily. Ongoing conversations with unknown friends have become a routine for many. In most cases, when these very same users are asked if they would be willing to meet their online friends in person, they answer negatively or confess that they would only be interested in an occasional meetup.

The effects of the trending FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) are increasing rapidly. Research demonstrates that almost four out of ten young people experience FOMO at some point in their life or frequently (JWT, 2012), and men are more likely to develop this fear than women. FOMO is defined as a “pervasive habit of the individual’s desire to remain constantly connected to what others are doing,” which results in a non-stop online activity on social media profiles and minimal real-life exchanges (Przybylski et al., 2013).

It is a type of social anxiety that includes fear of being left out of important social experiences or socializing (JWT, 2012). The person suffering from FOMO develops recurring stress and the need for overuse of social networks. People with low levels of psychological satisfaction are more at risk, as they are the “easiest victims” of the online world. It’s mostly them facing increased rates of disconnection and self-isolation.

With the development of technology, psychological dependence on social networks is rapidly increasing, and the use of the Internet is characterized as “pathological in many cases” (Song et al. 2004). Panic attacks or increased rates of depression are a usual occurrence, tricky to deal with if a person with a mental illness does not significantly reduce the use of social networks. It is not a coincidence that depressed or anxious people tend to spend dozens of hours on social media to fill the void and avoid live communication and “real” life.

It is reported that people experiencing FOMO and other anxiety disorders appear to have higher levels of loneliness and isolation (Dossey, L. 2014). The self-disposition theory argues that a person’s psychological satisfaction is linked to competence, autonomy, and correlation, constituting three basic psychological needs (Deci E.L., & Ryan R.M. 1985). People with lower levels of psychological satisfaction appear to be more vulnerable to social media. Many surveys prove how important personal contact and intimate relationships are for improving mental health. A study by Przybylski released a critical finding: FOMO and increased social phobia were more common in those who had unsatisfied psychological needs, such as the need to be liked, accepted, or respected by others.

In short, who doesn’t want to have a strong social media presence to understand, accept, and communicate with other people? But the truth is out there. The sooner we know the fine line between overuse, misuse, and productive use of social platforms, the higher the chances to achieve development on a mental, social, and human level. Once we understand that the potential pain, emptiness, and stress is much more intense and destructive for our mental stability than we could imagine, we can start balancing our real and digital life. Taking a healthy distance from all screens can bring us closer to ourselves, our autonomy and self-sufficiency, and help us get up from the couch and become more stable and fulfilled.

Genuine relationships don’t need any likes to be confirmed. Trust and acceptance are built through hundreds of hours of contact in real time and space, and there is no way to “cheat” that. 

Sources:

1. Przybylski, A. K., Murayama, K., DeHaan, C. R., & Gladwell, V. (2013), “Motivational, emotional, and behavioral correlates of fear of missing out.”, Computers in Human Behavior 29 (4): 1841–1848

2. JWT (2012), Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) (PDF)

3. Deci,E.L.,& Ryan,R.M. (1985), Intrinsic motivation and self-determination inhuman behavior, Plenum Press

4. Song, I., Larose, R., Eastin, M. S., & Lin, C. A. (2004), “Internet gratifications and Internet addiction: On the uses and abuses of new media”,CyberPsychology & Behavior, 7 (4): 384–394

5. Dossey, L. (2014), “FOMO, digital dementia, and our dangerous experiment.”, Explore Journal of Science and Healing 10 (2): 69–73